Thursday, July 29, 2010


I speak little on my teenage years as you would cringe at what I must've put my dear mother through. I'm serous. i was that once fresh faced and Innocent brown eyed girl every mother dreams of. I volunteered in the local library and was an avid reader. One summer I did a complete change. I died my hair black and promptly began shooting tar heroin at 15!
I had this drive to do something big time be it criminal or not. Self destructive would be more like it. I still lack the ability to recall just what my thinking was like. I do however remember several weeks or even months i completely lost. Its a mess in my head now. I guess garbage in garbage out. you are what you hold highest. I will say this. There were happy days in there. Then again...there were some of my darkest days brought on by heroin. Losing Nikki to the drug was a real eye opener. there will always be this void of her in me. We were known as the "dark sisters" because heroin is black and like the whole town know. Even my boss, but she spoke of nothing to me.
So I have this precious little 3 year old daughter and I see so much of her in my its amazing. my strong will and drive is there in full force. Lets see if I have what it takes to teach her the ropes in this world. I want to be here for her. My God I love and want the best for her.
Well that's it for now...Got to cook the fam dinner :P

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