Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Drugs. they are a big part of who I was and no longer who I am. I no longer identify with people on the streets. I can to an extent, but I quickly remind myself of who I am and how much hard work it took to get myself to the point where I am today..troubles come and i remind myself that I am human and make mistakes. just because I'm clean doesn't give me the right to judge another. I'm implying here what I feel about myself in the world. I no longer chill with junkies and criminals. I stay at home and tend to the family and attend afternoon classes as i work towards an education. I tend to doubt myself and my abilities as a parent. I wonder how a person like myself could ever be blessed with such an amazing child like Angel. My precious 2 year old whom I live and would die for.
This is her a year ago. I just love this picture so much! She is a handful but all worth it. I sometimes wonder if I'm going to wake up from this dream and find myself strung out and sick in a smokey old motel room. Alone and broken...
Here I am a mother, a wife and a daughter. I want to excel in all the areas as i try so hard to make up for all I took from those whom I love. I took years that were supposed to be joyful and turned them into nightmares for my poor mother. My oldest son Steven...that is a deep wound lets not even go there as that's a whole new post...
I like writing here because  figure a good present of the people reading this are pretty much normies that never really got hooked on tar heroin or meth. I do, however think we have all been touched my addiction in one form or another. Be it an Aunt or Uncle, sister, brother or even a parent. Anyway, I just love reading about you all and the info I gain from several of the blogs i follow gets put to good use as i have a pretty dull social life that affords me little time with other moms. I keep my guard up anymore. I have to because those I DO associate with in The Program live compromised lifestyles themselves. Well, ya..these are my kids Steven and Angel


  1. Your children are beautiful and you have been truly blessed. Addiction is a disease and I am so happy you were able to pull yourself out of it. I can just imagine that you feel like your life is a dream. I am very happy you have accomplished so much!!

  2. Thanks for visiting my blog and entering my Kung Zhu contest! You kids are beautiful, and, take my word for it, every mom feels not quite up to the task no matter what our background is - but somehow the kids usually turn out fine despite us. :)
    I applaud your journey and congratulations on being 1 year clean. I've never been in your shoes but I can understand {in the way that a person who has never been there really can't but...} that's it's a challenging road and a great accomplishment. You both should be very proud of yourselves!
    Thanks again and have a great week!
    Mark it with a B and Live Whole Food . blogspot . com